The Old Goat's Sports Column

No Moss on Moss

Randy Moss, Tom Brady and the Patriots shot down the Jets. Is that a surprise? Moss had 9 catches for 183 yards and a touchdown. For all those whining about Moss “taking time off” during games. If he produces like that (and he always has when playing with other than complete stiffs), I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if he spent some game time on the beach at Waikiki.

Horsies

The Broncos struggled, but escaped. Quarterback JayCutler alternates between spectacular and clueless. He’s a ½ rookie, having replaced Jake the Snake in the middle of last season. There were just few enough boneheaded decisions (like a near-disaster attempted lateral with the game in the balance) to allow yet another Jason Elam kick for the win. How long has Elam been around? Jeannie, the Horsie fan around here, is pleased.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Eldrick was on the charge at Cog Hill in Chicago. You just know that guys like Baddeley and Stricker are all too aware of the on-coming big cat. Baddeley hangs in there best of those two as Tiger steps it up after the turn. At the finish it’s Eldrick Woods by three over Aaron Baddeley, and a couple back to Stricker. That should put Tiger in the lead for the Chase thing. …In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

By Jove, she's got it!

Near Tiger, at the Chicago Speedway, Dario Franchitti is trying to hang on and win the IRL championship before he (reportedly) disappears amongst the taxicab-driving rednecks. He has early handling problems – a push – after starting from the pole. The Penske pair of HelioCastroneves and Sam Hornish (also headed for NASCAR) dominates early and through the middle of the race.

A caution at about the ¾ mark puts Franchitti and nemesis Scott Dixon back in front. The teams are in a quandary though, as a barrier repair extends the yellow flag period near the one-stop fuel window. They both come in late in the caution period; will the top-off let them go the rest of the way?

It’s Dixon-Franchitti-Patrick when the green comes out with less than 50 of the 200 laps remaining. Hornish comes underneath to take the lead with Dixon following, Franchitti and Patrick drop back. We hear the Andretti-Green Racing pair will need fuel. What about the two up front? Hornish is in for a splash with sixteen laps to run. Franchitti challenges the two Ganassi cars, Dixon and Wheldon. Danica Patrick also pits for fuel, but has Franchitti’s AGR teammate handed the race to Dixon with a spin in pit lane? The caution will take the season down to a two-lap shoot-out. Dixon and Franchitti go side-by-side on the restart, and over the entire lap first lap. They’re off turn four, the white flag is out for the last lap, and then…Franchitti is quickly by on the outside. The Scot reacts quickly to avoid collecting the New Zealander as Dixon suddenly slows, out of fuel, and the championship is decided. Dario Franchitti wins the 2007 IndyCar championship, edging 2006 Champion Scott Dixon.

“They’ve got to get the 23 car (Milka Duno) off the track,” said Franchitti’s wife, Ashley Judd during post-race interviews. “I’m tired of holding my tongue. There are people’s lives at stake out there. You can’t have a car out there ten miles-per-hour slower than everyone else.” Good for her. It took the actress to say what others in the sport should have had the courage to say for a long time. Tim Northcutt’s been writing that all season for us over at The Last Turn Clubhouse. The new champion refused to confirm the reports that he’ll join Ganassi Racing in NASCAR next season rather than defend his IRL title.

Opinion. If Dario Franchitti is in NASCAR next season, what finally pushed will have pushed him there? Two idiotic performances. One, Andretti Green making the kind of boneheaded race strategy calls like the one that sent young Marco into Franchitti’s way, costing the race at Sonoma. Two, Brian Barnhardt, IndyCar president and chief steward, who kept letting Milka Duno take the track, endangering the lives of everyone.

The dreadful North

In the NFC North, the Pack pulled one out, preserving hope in the land of beer, cheese and bratwurst for another mediocre season with an ancient quarterback. Actually, they’re not that rational. I suspect the cheeseheads thinking championship. We didn’t get the Bears; the Raiders are up the road. Culpepper is on the Raider roster now, and has had a fair pre-season, but they went with Josh McCown, who’s made a career of being a stiff. (Four forgettable seasons with the Arizona Cardinals. Then again, aren’t all seasons with the Cardinals that?) It’s been hard times in the Raider Nation for a long time, and it doesn’t look to get better anytime soon. The hapless Motor City Kitties are locked in a titanic struggle with the Bad-Ass Raiders before the Detroiters finally prevail. Chief Kitten Kitna guarantees ten Lion wins. We’ll head right over to Vegas to get our money down. Yeah, right.

Vikings won in spite of Tavares Jackson. Former Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson looks like the real deal, though. Nineteen carries for 102 yards, one reception for sixty yards and a touchdown. Chester Taylor’s career as an NFL starter lasted exactly one season. The Falcons are hapless. Vick’s no loss. His primary skills were running and one-fingered salutes. No one’s ever won squat with a running quarterback in the NFL.

Given the Bears defense it’s no surprise San Diego didn’t score much today. Given the Bears offense, it’s no surprise Chicago didn’t score much today. The defense was good, but the offense was worse. Chargers 14, Bears 3. It buggers the imagination why Chicago has been able to go pretty much a whole century without more than a handful of quarterbacks that have risen above just plain bad. They can get to the Super Bowl in the weak NFC, but they’ll never win it with Rex at the controls.

There’s a lot of football opinion above, isn’t there. And after I wrote yesterday I’m often completely bamboozled by this game. Ah, well. Football season’s back.