The Military History of the United States (short version)

Today was two hundred thirty-three years since ratifying that Declaration of Independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. That's humorous when written out. Who now thinks of London as the seat of a tyranny? Other than Iran, that is.

Before that was the French and Indian war, and after that the United States Legion, our first “standing army,” commanded by Anthony Wayne in 1792. The Navy was born in 1794, and the marines chased pirates onto the shores of Tripoli in the first and second Barbary Wars.

We fought that same island empire less than forty years after that declaration. They burned the White House. We rebuilt it. We were putting a dome on the capitol building during the Civil War. Oddly, more enmity between the combatants' descendents lingers from that war than any other. Perhaps not so oddly – family fights are the most intense, aren't they?

Those iconic commanders of our Civil War – Grant, Lee, Longstreet, and others – first “won their spurs” as young lieutenants and captains in the war with Mexico in 1848. We got California out of that deal. It's not certain whether that's a good thing or not.

Just before the turn of the 19th century, we “Remembered the Maine,” and fought Spain to liberate Cuba after Teddy charged up San Juan Hill, and the Philippines after Commodore Dewey's American Asiatic Fleet sunk a small Spanish squadron of obsolete ships in Manila Bay. We kept the latter for ourselves for nearly 50 years. You know how the former turned out. Somewhere in there we “helped out” some folks who wanted to separate from Columbia, and ended up with a canal – and the Jungle Warfare School at Fort Sherman where I swam with cayman in the Rio Chagres more than a half-century later.

Wilson stayed out of “the war to end all wars,” for while, then the British liner Lusitania – also capable of being an armed ship – sailed from New York with contraband gun cotton. A U-boat pounced off Ireland, and the colonies were in the big war. Pershing was put in charge of something more than chasing Pancho Villa around northern Mexico. This is the first war from which I knew a decorated veteran, Captain Theodor Slen, who was awarded a Silver Star and Croix de Guerre at Cantigny. Judge Slen was not only along with Pershing in Mexico, he was at the meeting in Paris in 1919 that launched the American Legion. He died July 4, 1986.

The interlude after that war to end all wars was barely twenty years. We tried (sort of) to stay out of the next one, too. It didn't work then, either. An uncle I would never know died in North Africa. Echo Co. 1/506th PIR became famous; I commanded it a little more than twenty years later.

Just a half-decade later the first North Korean nutso started the “conflict.” Honest, that's what it was called back then, “the Korean Conflict.” I knew lots of guys who fought in Korea. Some would serve with me in another war about fifteen years later. Two of my kids have since served in Korea, both officers in the United States Army, one Air Defense Artillery, one Field artillery. Randy Murph died there in 2001, piloting an F-16.

Vietnam. I've written about that – about the heroes and the ones lost.

After a few years there was Desert Storm, and Bosnia.

Somewhere in there we had a ship and two embassies blown up, then the Trade Center for the second – fatal – time. After knocking off the Taliban – for a while – with a few CIA and special forces guys and a camel or two, we crushed Saddam in a few weeks – son-in-law David was there, shooting down Scuds. A couple of years later they hung Saddam, just to make a point.

We're still hanging around both places.

Afghanistan. Alexander took his army through the Khyber Pass in 326 BC. The British had the First Afghan War (1839), the Second Afghan War (1879), and the Third Afghan War (1919). The Soviets invaded in 1979. It was the beginning of the end of that empire. Come to think of it, it was pretty much the end of the British Empire, too. This may be “the right war,” but it's not a good place.

There. The military history of the United States in about 700 words, with a few personal observations. Beat that, Courtney.