Sunday, September 30, 2007

Unhappy Bears

We’ve got some unhappy Bears around here. Their Chicago heroes dropped one to the Kitties. Rex is out. Brian is in – and threw his own three interceptions. This time, though, it was a collapsing “D” that gave up 34 points in the fourth quarter. Next week the defending NFC champs go to Green Bay, where the old grizzled QB just set the all time TD record. They’ll probably fall to 1-4. Murphy, Charles, and Lovey are having a tough season indeed. Murphy will be busy in Georgia next weekend; perhaps that will help his mood.

Pittsburgh lost in Phoenix, so the unbeatens are now only four. Green Bay, Dallas, and Indianapolis have won four, New England three, with a game at 1-2 Cincinnati Monday.

The Colts trampled the Broncos. After Denver went up 10-0 it was 28-3 over the next two quarters before Denver finally put up its second – and final – TD.

We watched Dante Culpepper dominate games before a catastrophic knee injury in Minnesota. The only thing between him and an all time NFL record passing year in 2004 was Payton Manning (who moved the goal post). If he ever got healthy again… Well, he just might be. Three rushing and two throwing TDs today for Oakland. There’s a fantasy league day for you.

Quiz of the day. What University has a new 64,000 seat football stadium but no football team?

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Football Fraud

Oklahoma, Florida, West Virginia, Texas, Rutgers, all top 10 losers. Colorado, Auburn, South Florida, Kansas State, Maryland, the teams that beat them, four of five unranked. Again, please. Explain why the bowl match-ups (and by extension the national champion) should be largely determined by the idiots who vote in these things?

Kirk Herbstreit, on tonight’s USC-Washington broad cast, said, “I’ll vote Oregon No. 5.” Huh? No. 11 loses – albeit to No. 6 Cal – and moves up six places? Is anything further required to prove this whole system is a monumental joke? The fact is we’re five games into a twelve game schedule – almost half way. More games won’t make it good enough to accurately chose the best two, but might help draw a line after the top 16. Will that necessarily be fair to 17? No, it won’t. But perhaps that distinction is less important than between two and three.

What about the whining about “academics,” and “extending the season?” It’s poppycock. Next year the national championship game will played January 7th. That’s six weeks after most teams will have ended their schedules. Lose bowl revenues? Oddly, there are 32 bowls, one more than the number of games required to play down from 32 teams to 1 team. More than one of those 32 is a money losing joke that should be put out of its misery. That playoff would only take five weeks. From sixteen teams to a champion is only four weeks.

Number of games? Teams with bowl games (that’s currently 64, more than half of the 119 Division 1-A football schools) play at least 13 already. Those with a conference championship game play 14. Cut two off the schedule (and that extra conference game), and dump the games with the Little Sisters of the Poor U. Then send the top sixteen to a playoff using the best fifteen bowls and match-up the next thirty-four teams in a “bowl season” during December using the seventeen remaining bowls. Those teams – plus the eight losers in the first playoff round – get 11 games, just as was the case before an extra game was added just last year.

Eight first round winners will play 12 games, four semi-finalists 13, and only the participants in the national championship game will play as long a the current bowl season and play more games – just one more – than most of the 64 bowl teams do now.

In fact, a sixteen team playoff takes less games and is a shorter season than is played now. So is a 32 team playoff.

It’s easy, and all the excuses to the contrary, it’s the only sensible, fair, and rational thing to do. Which means it will never happen.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Have you seen my...?

Here comes the blog equivalent of opening the wallet. “Have you seen my pictures of the kids?” You should be surprised you’ve been spared this ritual for thirty-four installments, but now there’s a proximate cause for the first (yes, I’m going to get to all three). Courtney, second of two daughters and the middle child, plans to join us at Petit Le Mans next weekend, so for those who read this and will see us there, here’s a bio.

Courtney Aimee is married to David Short. Both are Captains in the United States Army, Air Defense Artillery, Patriot Missiles. Dave is in Okinawa, commanding a Patriot battery. Courtney is in the second year of a Master’s program (concurrently with a PhD, ex dissertation) in history at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.

Courtney, born in 1977, was interested in history, writing, dance, and theater from an early age. She published poetry, appeared on high school and community theater stages, and also in the professional theater in Minneapolis-St. Paul – Actor’s Theater and the nationally-known Guthrie Theater. She was cast in Rachel River, an American Playhouse production released to a theatrical run in 1989. Courtney graduated from Eagan High School in Eagan Minnesota, having long since decided - in middle school - she’d go to Columbia University, which she did, earning a degree in history while commuting by subway for ROTC (they were paying the bills) at Fordham University (Columbia is happy to host tyrants and terrorists, but not so much ROTC students). At Columbia, she played intercollegiate rugby in the Ivy League.

Assignment to Korea was marked by personal tragedy, which she wrote about in Columbia College Today. After Korea she was assigned to Ft. Bliss, Texas, where she completed branch schooling, then taught at the Air Defense School, earned a Masters in Management from Webster University, commanded a Patriot battery, wrote articles for El Paso Magazine, and got married. She was selected for advanced civil schooling preparatory to an appointment to the United States Military Academy (West Point) faculty (beginning fall 2008), and started at UNC fall, 2006.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Cold, Hornets, and Denny

It was damn cold today. Sixty-two at noon and went straight down from there, to a low of 53 tonight. That doesn’t sound so bad, but yesterday it got to eighty-something. The usual nice breeze, so comfortable, but warm. Then straight down. It might not have been worth a mention in the Midwest, but here, it’s radical, at least if you’re staying in one place. If we get in the car and drive, we can easily go up or down a dozen degrees or so – Gilroy 80, Salinas 70, Pacific Grove 60.

Something else unusual this afternoon fighters, low and in formation, a pair, or pairs, this afternoon. It’s the annual California International Air Show this weekend in Salinas. Practice, I suppose. On checking it seems they’re F/A 18F Super Hornets, the "Flying Eagles" of Strike Fighter Squadron 122 (VFA-122) based at Naval Air Station Lemoore, CA.

Daughter Courtney and Son-in-law Dave wrote in their blog that they've added to their active duty Army contracts. Both Captains, there are new incentives. "Why not take advantage," Courtney wrote me, "we're staying anyway."

Boston Legal got 10 million viewers following Dancing, which got 18 mil. House took the night’s ratings with 20 million. We liked Legal, with “new sheriff” Karl Sack (John Larroquette) in a senior partner’s chair and sacking in with Shirley (pun most certainly intended?). Clarice does a stage number, Alan Shore has elevator liaisons with sexy litigator Lorraine Weller, Denny gets arrested in a prostitution sting, and well, on it goes for a fourth season. Shatner and Spader have each won two Emmys, for actors in a drama – demonstrating that even the industry doesn’t know how to classify this show. Personally, I’d call it a comedy, but, well, I’m not sure of that either.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Helio, and Stuff that's Fifty


Helio. That’s El-e-o, not Hell-e-o, or Heel-e-o. It is cool-e-o. So here I am an old goat who said he’d watch contests, sports, anything, but competitive dancing, “that’s ridiculous.” That’s what I said. Exactly what I said, for at least the past two seasons. We didn’t bother watching the first night, with the women celebrities dancing, because, well, I just wanted to see Helio Castroneves. But geez, there I was cheering and clapping for competitive dancing, for cripes sakes. (Photo abc television)

Rationalizing? Well if Helio thinks it’s cool – and he obviously does, then why shouldn’t I? Mark Cuban’s hanging it all out there. The Mark Cuban, who’s got billions (a “b”), owns the Mavericks, and is NBA Commissioner David Stern’s number one chronic pain in the butt. Which is ironic since Cuban started practicing for this just seven weeks after a big time major butt pain – hip replacement surgery. (There ya go, Jim.)

Marie Osmond is dancing. Marie Osmond is almost fifty. How did all those young babes get so old? I googled “50 year old stars,” and similar phrases. I got Victoria Principal. No. Can’t be. I missed a couple of fiftieths last year – Play Doh, artificial intelligence, the federal interstate highway system. I had no idea 2006 was such a big year. Fluoridation is fifty years old – found an article calling it a fifty-year-old blunder. I can remember it was a hot topic when I was a kid. Regardless of that article, it’s probably the one thing that’s not poisoning us. Here’s something I found, 50 year old woman decides to pursue a career in the porn industry. At some earlier age, I would have stopped right there, but…

Fifty isn’t what it used to be, though. Want proof? Google Amparo Grisales.

So, where was I? Being fifty? No, Helio. He won’t likely be at Petit Le Mans, Roger Penske is listing other drivers. Too bad. We’d like to say. “Good job.”

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

A Mediocre Monday

We settled in for the first night of the new fall season last night. Forget PBS’ Sunday debut of Ken Burn’s The War, we did not – and will not – get that on our local nearly-full-time-fund-raising-rip-off public television station, KQET. (We previously wrote about that sorry operation.)

Anyway, last night we thought we’d give Chuck a try over on NBC before going to CBS for Two and a Half Men. That one didn’t fly for the scheduled one-hour duration. Contrived. That’s acceptable if it’s funny. It was not. So we switched early to CBS for the debut of Big Bang Theory. That turned out to be a half-hour of overworked nerd jokes – but funny, so forgiven all that. This season’s launch of Two and a Half Men wasn’t actually the best episode of the series, but it delivered enough to stay on our list of favorites. That being a half-hour show, we’re almost obligated to watch the following Rules of Engagement.

From there it was back to NBC with high hopes. That’s because we find CSI Miami a nauseating formula show with its episodes devoid of any hint of a plot. Splash a bit of overly-saturated colors around with the blood and you’ve almost got it. Too bad David Caruso postures his way through every episode. His imitation of acting is indescribably awful. Sadly, we made it through Journeyman only because it was the only option. That’s an hour to do some reading, I guess.

Tonight we’ll have to pass on House. It overlaps Dancing with the Stars in the early slot, and Boston Legal in the second. What’s with Dancing? It’s not what, but who. Helio Castroneves, the two-time Indy 500 winner who’s genuine, friendly and funny. The public persona is the same as the private one we found in the pits at Sebring in March.

Boston Legal debuts with a 90-minute episode. It’s the best program on television, hands down, bar none.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Fruitcake

According to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranians do not believe in war. Israel is an invader and it cannot continue its life. Iran wants "peace and friendship for all (except Israel and the Great Satan, of course).

Ahmadinejad proudly described the reaction to his speech in September of last year to the useless debating society on the Hudson, “one of our group told me that when I started to say ‘In the name of God the almighty and merciful,’ he saw a light around me, and I was placed inside this aura. I felt it myself. I felt the atmosphere suddenly change, and for those 27 or 28 minutes, the leaders of the world did not blink. … And they were rapt.” Mahmoud concluded that speaking engagement by praying for the return of the Mahdi, "O mighty Lord, I pray to you to hasten the emergence of your last repository, the Promised One, that perfect and pure human being, the one that will fill this world with justice and peace." How delusional is that?

Today at Columbia this loony tune rambled on about the divine, god, physics, and scientists doing the enlightened work of the book of the prophet. It was beyond nonsensical.

Ahmadinejad would remind me of Randle Patrick McMurphy, but Randall usually knew what the hell he was talking about – like when he said, “I'm talking about my life, I can't seem to get that through to you. I'm not just talking about one person, I'm talking about everybody. I'm talking about form. I'm talking about content. I'm talking about interrelationships. I'm talking about God, the devil, Hell, Heaven.”

Of course ol’ Randall was entirely sane. Mahmoud is beyond fruitcake. And he’s about to get his finger on the big trigger. Unless we find the guts to get him first.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Some Unhappy Bears

Murphy, Charles, Lovey, Jeannie and I settled onto the couch tonight to watch the Bears (the ones in Chicago) play the Cowboys (the ones from Dallas).

Sad. Very sad. Are Bears’ coach Lovey Smith and GM Jerry Angelo the only humans watching this game who think Rex Grossman should be playing quarterback in Chicago? It’s not as if they don’t have a better QB on their bench, because they do. You can look it up. They’re even worse off up the road in Minneapolis, of course, where Kelly Holcomb (like injured regular Tarvaris Jackson) was also not adequate. The Vikings are another NFC North team wasting a solid defense with an offensive offense. Lest they get too damned proud of the rookie running back, who rushed for 102 in 25 carries, the purple should be reminded that the two Rodent running backs who shared a backfield in the same building turned 34 rushes into 205 yards, 6 yards a pop.

Earlier, the Broncos finally fell off the high wire they’ve been on; they came from behind to win their first two, but not this time. And the Packers are off to a 3-0 start? Well, so the old man gets one more shot – as weak as the NFC is, this would be the year. Lovey needs to can Grossman or it’s over for the dispirited Bears. In Philadelphia, the Motor City Kitties got shown up for what they are – a bad football team. Without a quick change in the Windy City, the NFC North will finish: Packers, Bears, Kitties, Norwegians. In fact the whole NFL ain’t all that tough to figure out: Pats, Colts, Steelers, Cowboys, Packers. Those are the contenders. There are three that could yet right the ship: the Bears, Panthers, and Jaguars. The rest are pretenders.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Dissies and Happies

Welcome to the announcement of two new football awards. The Dissie (short for disappointing) is awarded to the team and game that most clearly fall short of expectation, hype, or promise. The Happie is awarded for any exceptionally hapless performance. The jury (a secret cabal) can make as many – or few – awards in either of the categories. Deliberations are secret and decisions are final. The awards will be made whenever the awards jury feels like it. Here are this week’s winners:

The Dissie

South Carolina – LSU This game was supposed to be better than this, wasn’t it? Or did I just underestimate LSU? It started well enough. I got a text from my son in Columbia, “Go Cocks,” when South Carolina scored first. “Game on,” I thought. Then the Tigers scored. And scored. And scored again. And scored one more time, making it 28-7 at three quarters. The Gamecocks put up a touchdown in garbage time. Thoroughly disappointing for the featured afternoon game, the winner of our Dissie in the game category.

Penn State Joe Pa said last year this would be “the year.” So Penn State won three, including one at Notre Dame, and rolled into Michigan with the nation’s number ten rank. In a putrid, poorly played game, Michigan made less mistakes and hung one on the Nittany Lions. Maybe next year, Joe? Penn State wins our team Dissie

The Happie

Notre Dame The Irish dropped a game at home to Michigan State. That makes the leprechaun zero and four for the first time in history. This was their best showing in four games, but they get a Happie – and will keep getting it – on the strength of continuing lousy performance.

Nebraska The Cornhuskers get a Happie even though they won – a squeaker over powerhouse Ball State – yes, that’s Ball State – in Lincoln. After getting flattened by USC last week, they stink up their own joint 41-40 over a school known as the alma mater of David Letterman – and little else.

My very own Golden Rodents get a special Happie for fielding most hapless defense in the nation for the fourth straight week.

Florida made themselves a strong contender for either of our awards by almost booting their season at Mississippi.

In the Worthwhile Watching Department (WWD) this week was Georgia-Alabama, the Bulldawgs taking a well-played overtime game in Tuscaloosa with as pretty a touchdown throw and catch as you ever want to see.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Politics by Abraham

I’ve been reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s bestselling political history of the Lincoln administration, Team of Rivals. Most would tag Lincoln as the emancipator, the war leader, the orator. Kearns rather casts Lincoln as the politician – the master politician. Examining Lincoln’s correspondence and conversations within the inner circles of his government, Kearns uncovers the sixteenth president’s ability to formulate effective policy by shrewdly manipulating a cabinet of strong men and political rivals – of each other and of the president.

Politician has become a bad word, hasn’t it? Along with its root, politics. It’s not, of course. Politics and politicians are the foundation of democracy; there is none of the last without the first two.

Politicians do nothing more – or less – than represent us. I mean that in both ways, being both our constitutional representatives, and representative of who we are, how we are. We’re venal. So are they. We’re narrow. So are they. We are willing to subordinate reasoned discourse to score points. So of course are they.

But politics can be – and should be – an honorable pursuit. Only a few sully it. Many more simply lack the intellect required of statecraft.

A politician barely elected. In fact, not expected to be elected – or re-elected. Hated by many. Reviled by most of the press. Believed by many to have deviously dragged the nation into a ruinous war. Ran a war policy criticized by serving and retired generals, two of whom who ran for president against him. Riots against the war, the military, and the draft that had to be put down by military force. Criticized for his lack of social graces, and manners, and intellect. Abraham Lincoln. Master politician.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mired in Good Stories

I was working today on a story about Canepa Design, a Scotts Valley, California company that among other things restores historic racing sports cars. Though Jeannie and I have covered sports car racing for many years, I have never been very interested in historic racing. It is, after all, not real racing, but a weekend endeavor of the very wealthy serving little purpose beyond their own entertainment.

In writing about Canepa Design, and about Bruce Canepa, who we met at Laguna Seca Raceway earlier this summer, it’s become clear to me that there are many levels on which this abstruse activity might be understood. One I shouldn’t have missed is the stories. Not just because I write, but because these stories are histories, not just of mechanical objects, but of people, undertakings, success, and failure. After all, my first college major was history, and my avocational interests have never strayed far from that. That may or may not have contributed to the fact I have three children with degrees in history, but it can’t have hurt, can it? Anyway, this assignment for The Last Turn Clubhouse took me deeply into many of those stories, those bits of history. In fact, one of the problems I’m having with this article is cutting off the research. We saw scores of cars in Scotts Valley, and heard many stories. My notes and Jeannie’s photos keep sending me to the web or to my own book shelf and friend Janos Wimpffen’s monumental history, Time and Two Seats – Five Decades of Long Distance Racing.

Here’s Roger Penske conspiring to improve the brakes on the AMC Javelin – by “borrowing” them from Porsche’s 917. Bill France, who had a plan to win Le Mans – with a stock car. There’s the quintessential Southern California Ford “flathead” powered hot rod that set land speed records at Bonneville salt flats. How special federal legislation “sprung” Porsche’s famous 959 super car.

So, for tonight, I’m mired in research, little of it necessary for the article I’ll finish tomorrow. That’s if I can resist the urge to look up still more information on a Trust 962, or on John Paul’s Greenwood GT Supervette.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Dick

They finally figured it out – the loser house guests on Big Brother 8. It never was a question of being likable, Christian, or a good person. That realization finally came (to the surprise of some) when the “jury” of the last seven to be evicted voted Dick Donato the winner. By then it was too late and Dick had the half mil.

At every turn since we started watching in Wisconsin, you could see the rest of the house was helpless against the Donatos. They were praying, complaining, crying (way too much), trying to obtain promises of support, to and forge alliances that could never work.

We’d been able to avoid Big Brother 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. This time we were captured, admittedly Tom more than Jeannie. I’m perverse enough to derive pleasure from watching the naive go down in flames. Only Eric had a clue, and his game was (oddly) improved by audience votes that directed his actions. In the end all the cash went to the three who combined brains, toughness, and yes, malevolence. As it should be.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Happy Birthday Jeannie

September 18 is Jeannie’s birthday. She got gifts from her mother, from cousin Cindi, and from friend Jo. We went out to dinner.

Stokes’ Restaurant is on Monterey’s Path of History, in an adobe built in 1833, just twelve years after Mexico’s independence from Spain, when Monterey was the capital of Mexican California. The house was a center of Monterey society in the years following its purchase by James Stokes, an English sailor, later a doctor, druggist, mayor of Monterey and landowner in Monterey and San Jose. There were other owners after the middle of the century, then the adobe was bought in 1890 by Mortimer and Hattie Gragg, and once again its parlor and living rooms played an important role in Monterey’s social life.

In 1950, the property became Gallitan’s, a restaurant with a national reputation. Employees report numerous sightings of a nineteenth century man believed to be Dr. Stokes, and in an upstairs bedroom his beautiful and beloved wife Josefa Soto de Cano, who died in 1855. Hattie Gragg has also often been seen – even to this day – by staff and guests.

Anyway, it’s our first time at Stokes, a rare restaurant with more Mobil stars (3) than dollar signs (2). They didn’t have our first wine choice, a Fumé Blanc, but we ended up with Talbott Vinyard’s Kali Hart Chardonnay, grown in the Santa Lucia Highlands of Monterey County, on the eastern slope of the coastal Santa Lucia mountains.

For a first course Jeannie had fried green tomatoes with horseradish rémoulade; it was excellent. Not much so my crispy potatoes with aioli. I expected a crisp, hard exterior with a soft, hot center (think a good French baguette). I got warm limp lumps of potato that were anything but crisp. It got better with the main course. Jeannie’s crêpes with spinach béchamel, summer vegetables and Gruyère cheese were excellent again, and I did as well with a free range herbed chicken breast on polenta with Dijon jus. First courses were around $4, and main courses $18 and $19. The wine was $8 a glass, not much less than you’d pay for a full bottle of the Kali Hart, but that’s typical for restaurants, isn’t it?

It was a quiet, memorable evening together. Happy birthday, Jeannie.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Browns, Bengals Blow, other Football Follies

That was a real disaster in Cleveland – if you really appreciate football – you understand and appreciate that defense is a part of it. Otherwise, you appreciate all the so-called “excitement,” of scoring nearly 100 points. Both teams – the Browns and the Bengals – gained over 500 yards. Fifty-six first downs. Cleveland averaged 7 ½ yards per rush. Surprisingly the turn over total was only four – not unusual. It was high scoring, it was close, but a “good game?” No, that’s something else.

Jeannie’s Horsies hosted a lousy Raiders team at Mile High. They almost blew it. Last week, they had to come from behind to win in Buffalo. The Bills were beaten 26-3 this week by Pittsburgh. Anyway, of note was a demonstration of sideline management by Broncos coach Mike Shanahan. In overtime, Oakland had apparently kicked the winning field goal from 52 yards. But they didn’t. It seems Shanahan had called a time out just before the kick. Legally, but too late to stop the play on the field. The Raider’s kicker would have to make a tough one again. He couldn’t, and the Broncos drove down the field to win.

The Patriots were caught cheating last week, gaining an unfair advantage. What they did to the Chargers – a team expected to be a factor in the playoffs – was truly unfair. It was 24-0 at half as Brady, Moss, and Maroney beat San Diego “to a pulp,” according to one sportswriter.
The Purple went to Detroit and gifted the Motor City Kitties their first win in eleven years. The chief Santa was quarterback Tavaris Jackson, an Arkansas drop out (feeling unwanted in the “bigs,” he took off for Alabama State, where he was a “find” for rookie head coach Brad Childress. For the game Jackson was 17-for-33 for 166 yards, four interceptions and a quarterback rating of 26.4. Throw in the opener, won by the Vikings in spite Tavaris, and his rating remains an anemic 40. I can’t say for sure that Jackson won’t be a good one someday. It’s just that there’s nothing to suggest he will.

Elsewhere in the Noxious North, a young Packers team (except the quarterback) whipped the Giants. Good, perhaps they’ll get smart in New York and sack a really, really bad coach. The Bears won, but coach Lovie Smith seems to be getting tired of the team having to carry it’s quarterback. They’re saying in Chicago that Rex Grossman might be on a short tether. A Chicago cousin sent us a Bear named Lovie today. Murphy and Charles are exited to get another “garage buddy.” Heidi’s a little worried about “the boys” behaving themselves.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Cats, Rodents, Chip, and Dip

After Auburn dropped its second game this weekend, to perennial SEC doormat Mississippi State, friend Bobby Star Eyes observed, “It's going to be a loooong season.” Tell me about it. What’s worse, the disappointment borne of high expectations, or the despair of continuing and ignominious failure? Being a Rodent fan makes me bit of an expert on the latter, and not much acquainted with the former. The Gophers last reached the heights of college football in 1960; that’s in my span of memory, but the optimism of that adolescent have long since been replaced by the pessimism of this adult. In Brewster and his staff, Minnesota’s only replaced one set of bozos with another. The Rodents have been singularly unready to play, outscored 56-14 in the first half of their two losses. After the intermissions of those two games they scored 56 while giving up 18. We were warned by a Minneapolis columnist who asked, rhetorically, “Do you suppose there’s a reason no one’s (previously) seen fit to make Bombastic Brewster a head coach?”

Perhaps the deepest despair is suffered by those who have seen little of it? Wolverines fans, perhaps. Does Michigan’s win over Notre Dame really mean they’ve “righted the ship?” Consider that the Irish have gained 326 total yards and rushed for minus 17 on the season. We’ll know soon – No. 12 Penn State comes to the Big House next week.

Some are blissfully lucky in their allegiances, and unaffected by travails on the gridiron. Daughter Courtney, who cares little for football, was an undergrad at Columbia and is now at UNC, neither a good place for a football fan, but the latter certainly fine for basketball aficionados (which she’s now become). Similarly Kentuckians. Mrs. Franchitti, who we’ll likely see at Petit Le Mans next month, is a 1990 Kentucky grad who’s primarily known for haunting basketball temple Rupp Arena. Will the University’s fast football start now get a little love from Ms. Judd and other Wildcat fans? Pat Forde, writing on ESPN.com, described Saturday’s win over No. 9 Louisville as “one of the best nights in the largely miserable history of Kentucky football.” Given that history, the doubters will likely have to see a bit more before they flag down that bandwagon. That’s the way this University of Minnesota alum thinks – not that there’s a bandwagon of any sort in sight.

Jeannie enjoyed years of Colorado University success before the Buffalos’ slide into scandal and impotence. Chip (pictured) is a buffalo chip, meaning he’s a…well, you know. Chip, Ralphie IV (the other, live, mascot) and the rest of the Buffs were beaten by a rather ordinary ‘Noles team last night. Ho hum. If you’re a Colorado fan, there was compensatory satisfaction in the Corn Husker’s ass kicking by the No. 1 USC Trojans – that one was 42-10 after three quarters before three garbage-time TDs by (formerly) No. 14 Nebraska.

In a 1775 letter, however, Samuel Johnson found the up side to our discontent. “Disappointment, when it involves neither shame nor loss, is as good as success; for it supplies as many images to the mind, and as many topics to the tongue,” he wrote.

Murphy’s (Not so) Simple Football Dip

(An experiment with our friend Murphy’s dip today got good results, though it’s not exactly simple anymore.)

1 sixteen oz. can refried beans
1 small onion, chopped
1 tbs lime juice or juice of 1 small lime
1 eight oz. jar queso dip
4 oz salsa
½ lb. ground beef

Spread refried beans in a lightly greased pie pan (the glass kind is best). Layer with queso, leaving a half inch of bean dip at the edge. Sauté onion, brown beef, layer them over the cheese, and top with the salsa Bake in oven pre-heated to 350° for twenty minutes or until headed through. Serve with tortilla chips.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Boston Bionic Idol

As I mentioned a few days ago, the new prime time television season is nearly here – about a week away now. In the midst of a pretty weird day of college football (that will keep until tomorrow after the NFL games) we did a quick check of what’s new and what’s coming back.

The returning shows are headed by my favorite, Boston Legal, and Jeannie’s Two and a Half Men. After that, shows we’ve watched before and will watch again include
Brothers and Sisters and Grey’s Anatomy on ABC, Cold Case and Shark on CBS, Law and Order and Friday Night Lights on NBC, House and (after the new year) American Idol on Fox.

Two-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves, who we’ve met in our race coverage, is competing on Dancing With the Stars, so we’ll check that out, though I’ve been previously resistant.

New shows that look interesting enough to be worth a try are Private Practice, a Grey’s Anatomy spin-off, Dirty Sexy Money (for the title if nothing else), and Cavemen (as far as I know the first time a program been created from an ad campaign) all on ABC. Chuck and Bionic Woman (can it be better than it was 31 years ago with Lindsay Wagner, pictured on TV Guide above?) are debuting on NBC, and New Amsterdam is new on Fox. CBS comes up empty.

Now, if they’ll refrain from changing times and nights, putting a series on an extended mid-season hiatus, and alternating new and re-run episode…but of course they won’t.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?


Déjà vu? The infamous Quiz Show scandals were in 1958. Humorist Art Buchwald called the conspiring contestants, “Quizlings,” a play on words that the faux intellegencia would likely not have honestly known – unless perhaps they were Norwegian. (That should send you to the Wikipedia.)

We checked the Fox web site and it said tonight was an “all new” episode of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. New season? There were Alana, Kyle, Spencer, and Jacob (pictured) – Jeannie’s favorite. They’re supposed to be in sixth grade, aren’t they? I think we figured it out, though – this is the past season, but not previously broadcast. The new season is yet to come. Either it’s about being smarter than 6th graders, or they’ll have a new cast. In which case, Jeannie will miss Jacob.

It was one of those nights when you had to doubt the wisdom of democracy. Eric, 26, knew that Georgia was on the Atlantic Ocean, but didn’t know that “city” was a common noun. Off he went.

Melanie, a UCLA grad, speculated that the President before FDR might be FDR (since he might have had two terms), then settled on James Madison. So much for that UCLA sheepskin.

Linda didn’t have much of an act to follow. She knew New Year’s Day was a federal holiday, that a triceratops had three horns, and Mexico is in North America. When they asked how many pints in a gallon, though, she took her money and went home.

These adults can vote. We’d be better off with the 5th graders.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Knitting Brigades

Armies have been organized in many ways through the millennia, from the early Sumerian’s first well-organized spear phalanxes formed from household troops and city-state militias not long after 3000 BC to today’s Brigade Combat Teams. In between were Greek Phalanxes, Roman Legions and Regiments of the British Empire.

The Brigade was invented as a tactical unit by the Swedish king and conqueror Gustavus Adolphus during the Thirty Years' War. Today, Divisions remain in the Army’s Table of Organization and Equipment (TOE), as do Battalions and Regiments, though in most cases the latter exist only on paper and as conduit for preserving the combat history of the United States Army. The Brigade Combat Team is a recently devised structure to meet modern requirements for a deployable combined arms team. Even today’s BCT is an interim step toward the Future Unit of Action, a future combat systems organization designed to be strategically and operationally responsive, rapidly deployable, able to change patterns of operations faster than the enemy can respond, and adjust to enemy changes of operations faster than he can exploit them.

Whatever they are, whatever they can do, and whatever they are called, there aren’t enough of them.

The United States Army can currently count 48 active and 34 National Guard Brigade Combat Team equivalents. Foreign deployments of BCTs – in whole or part – include Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, and Germany. Though those deployments are very much in dispute, there has been one area of general agreement. They aren’t enough to meet the nation’s obligations. Some put an adequate number of BCT equivalents at 99, seventeen more than are now available. Constant deployment and redeployment is seriously stressing the Army, particularly the National Guard, and will have significant impact on its readiness and sustainability for years, perhaps decades. Yet neither the Congress nor the Administration has had the political will to create that much needed additional force. For all the breast-beating about the nascent Iraqi government, our own just as readily goes off on vacation without tending to its knitting.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Public Wasteland

The new prime time television season is nearly upon us. Not a day too soon, either. We’re running out of movies from Wal-mart’s five buck bin. We can’t complain about our “movie season,” though. Among the favorites have been sports themed flicks like Rudy, Bagger Vance, and Tin Cup. There’ve been a few romantic comedies, While You Were Sleeping, Someone Like You, and Two Weeks Notice. That’s two Sandra Bullocks and an Ashley Judd (Mrs. Dario Franchitti to you racing fans). It isn’t all light stuff. Flags of Our Fathers and Amistad were thought-provoking and thoroughly enjoyable.

We spend a bit more by buying rather than renting, in theory, anyway. We never incur a late fee, and we do pretty much stick to that $5 bin (Flags of our Fathers was and exception). The big advantage is that we don’t have to plan ahead. After cruising the on-line DirecTV guide in the early evening, and finding it barren of anything interesting, Jeannie or I will pick something from our small backlog of unwatched DVDs.

Actually, we look forward to the fall television season with some trepidation. It’s gone to pot, we think. I don’t mean a lack of quality. We can't say that with any certainty. The new problem is that you can’t count on the schedule. You can settle into a favorite on Thursday night, only to find it's been moved to Wednesday, or it's been put on a three-week hiatus. PBS isn't immune from such shenanigans. We get some subsidiary channel to San Jose, I think, and that seems to be in turn a poor sibling of the channel in San Francisco. Anyway, this three-times-removed Monterey channel is either raising money or putting on junk. You can bet if it’s worth watching, it will be worth interrupting for interminable pitches by exceedingly boring people in front of phone banks. How is that better than the advertising of commercial television?

Today I was reminded of this PBS wasteland when my mother called to tell me there was to be an episode of American Masters called Tony Bennett: The Music Never Ends. The special hour and a half film includes not only part of Bennett’s 2005 Monterey Jazz Festival performance, but it’s executive producer, a fellow named Clint Eastwood, spends some time at the ivories accompanying the singer. We occasionally stop in at Clint’s Mission Ranch in Carmel, and more than once he’s dropped in to spend some time at the piano bar. He hasn’t yet pushed aside regular pianist Gennady Loktionov (who helped composer Eastwood with arrangements for the film Million Dollar Baby), but he has tooted a trumpet a couple of times. Anyway, that sounded good, so I went to listings. No way, of course. It’s on every place but here. Nor could I find it scheduled on another night. Do you get the idea we haven’t become “members?”

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Genuine Hero

Over the past six years, I’ve heard those words many times, and been often puzzled. What is a hero, what is heroism? These are the “book” definitions:

Hero – somebody who commits an act of remarkable bravery or who has shown an admirable quality such as great courage or strength of character.

Heroism – the qualities of a hero or heroine; exceptional or heroic courage when facing danger (especially in battle).

I recognize that there is the trivial definition of a hero, the one that applies to sports figures or to comic book characters. I don’t mind the trivial, because it’s so much so that it creates no confusion. Adults, anyway, know those aren’t real heroes.

Pundits and politicians gain points by indiscriminatingly crowning heroes, seemingly anyone who’s died or been exposed to danger, regardless of behavior. That's been particularly striking in regard to those who lost their lives to the cowards who attacked the twin towers of the World Trade Center in September, 2001. I’m saddened that anyone lost his or her life, of course. This isn’t about being callous. I’m not. But if they’re all heroes, then how do we characterize those who, well, are…see? What language describes them?

Look at it this way. A blind man stands in the middle of a Manhattan street, apparently disoriented. Another man comes along, sees a bus bearing down on the blind man, and dashes into harm’s way. Alas, he’s too late. They’re both run over by the bus. Is our would-be rescuer a hero? Success isn’t required for heroism, so yes, he is; and since neither is failure a requirement of heroism, had he succeeded, and both lived, he’s not less a hero, is he?

But if we fall into the simple (and perhaps ingratiating) habit of calling them both heroes, then we’ve devalued the selfless act of the genuine hero, haven’t we? Thus we degrade the language. Semantics? That supposed indictment is a refuge for the uncomprehending.

There were many heroes on that day in September. Certainly the firefighters who went up to help others get down. There was one for certain, and we’re lucky that his story survives, even if he didn’t. Rick Rescorla, a naturalized US citizen born in Britain, was a hero at least twice in his life. First in Vietnam where he commanded Bravo Company, Second Battalion, Seventh Cavalry on LZ X-ray in a battle recounted by Hal G. Moore in We Were Soldiers Once…and Young (Random House, 1992).

Rescorla was a hero again on September 11, 2001. Both stories, and more, are told by Pulitzer Prize winning author James B. Stewart in Heart of a Soldier (Simon & Schuster, 2002). The sense of Stewart’s book is captured in its subtitle, A Story of Love, Heroism, and September 11th. Reading it settles once and for all what honor, duty, and heroism really are.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Irrational Discourse.

I used the converse – rational discourse – of that phrase September 5 in Strategists.

Rational – governed by, or showing evidence of, clear and sensible thinking and judgment, based on reason rather than emotion or prejudice.

Discourse – serious discussion about something between people or groups.

That entry focused on the yelling matches that have taken over the so-called news channels. I’m reminded today that it’s unfair to point the finger at CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and the rest. They only reflect the civility of the larger body politic

I can’t say I’ve had much good to say about the frenzied freaks at Moveon.org. The self-styled “Democracy in Action” web site and organization is funded by George Soros, whose wealth not only sustains it, but provides a level of legitimacy to its views that a close look hardly warrants. But this full-page ad in today’s New York Times still came as a surprise.

Having written in Dereliction of Duty (September 6) that hasty and casual acceptance of the views of generals, just because they are generals, is imprudent, I now find myself having to point out that the contrary assumption is just as foolish, and in the context of today’s Capitol Hill hearing (actually even before those hearing got underway) is either stupidity or sophistry. Unfortunately, statements similar to those of the ad have been made by the Democrat leadership in recent days, demonstrating that Moveon.org is not alone in its disinterest in that elusive rational discourse.

Sophistry: a method of argumentation that seems clever but is actually flawed or dishonest.

I’d like to argue that this war was probably the right thing to do; that the policy, having been launched, may not have been effectively executed. It may share that with the Vietnam War. That we have now a set of circumstances that are independent of those of five, four or even one year ago, and that courses of action have to be considered in the moment of time in which we find ourselves. That since there are none who have the political courage to build an armed force adequate to the tasks to which it has been set, we should have a real concern about the impact of repeated deployment on our military readiness and the well-being of those in uniform.

Unfortunately, I despair of rational discourse. We have been here before – thirty-five years ago – a climate within which that was simply impossible. That has in part caused us to be where we are today.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The Old Goat's Sports Column

No Moss on Moss

Randy Moss, Tom Brady and the Patriots shot down the Jets. Is that a surprise? Moss had 9 catches for 183 yards and a touchdown. For all those whining about Moss “taking time off” during games. If he produces like that (and he always has when playing with other than complete stiffs), I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if he spent some game time on the beach at Waikiki.

Horsies

The Broncos struggled, but escaped. Quarterback JayCutler alternates between spectacular and clueless. He’s a ½ rookie, having replaced Jake the Snake in the middle of last season. There were just few enough boneheaded decisions (like a near-disaster attempted lateral with the game in the balance) to allow yet another Jason Elam kick for the win. How long has Elam been around? Jeannie, the Horsie fan around here, is pleased.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Eldrick was on the charge at Cog Hill in Chicago. You just know that guys like Baddeley and Stricker are all too aware of the on-coming big cat. Baddeley hangs in there best of those two as Tiger steps it up after the turn. At the finish it’s Eldrick Woods by three over Aaron Baddeley, and a couple back to Stricker. That should put Tiger in the lead for the Chase thing. …In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

By Jove, she's got it!

Near Tiger, at the Chicago Speedway, Dario Franchitti is trying to hang on and win the IRL championship before he (reportedly) disappears amongst the taxicab-driving rednecks. He has early handling problems – a push – after starting from the pole. The Penske pair of HelioCastroneves and Sam Hornish (also headed for NASCAR) dominates early and through the middle of the race.

A caution at about the ¾ mark puts Franchitti and nemesis Scott Dixon back in front. The teams are in a quandary though, as a barrier repair extends the yellow flag period near the one-stop fuel window. They both come in late in the caution period; will the top-off let them go the rest of the way?

It’s Dixon-Franchitti-Patrick when the green comes out with less than 50 of the 200 laps remaining. Hornish comes underneath to take the lead with Dixon following, Franchitti and Patrick drop back. We hear the Andretti-Green Racing pair will need fuel. What about the two up front? Hornish is in for a splash with sixteen laps to run. Franchitti challenges the two Ganassi cars, Dixon and Wheldon. Danica Patrick also pits for fuel, but has Franchitti’s AGR teammate handed the race to Dixon with a spin in pit lane? The caution will take the season down to a two-lap shoot-out. Dixon and Franchitti go side-by-side on the restart, and over the entire lap first lap. They’re off turn four, the white flag is out for the last lap, and then…Franchitti is quickly by on the outside. The Scot reacts quickly to avoid collecting the New Zealander as Dixon suddenly slows, out of fuel, and the championship is decided. Dario Franchitti wins the 2007 IndyCar championship, edging 2006 Champion Scott Dixon.

“They’ve got to get the 23 car (Milka Duno) off the track,” said Franchitti’s wife, Ashley Judd during post-race interviews. “I’m tired of holding my tongue. There are people’s lives at stake out there. You can’t have a car out there ten miles-per-hour slower than everyone else.” Good for her. It took the actress to say what others in the sport should have had the courage to say for a long time. Tim Northcutt’s been writing that all season for us over at The Last Turn Clubhouse. The new champion refused to confirm the reports that he’ll join Ganassi Racing in NASCAR next season rather than defend his IRL title.

Opinion. If Dario Franchitti is in NASCAR next season, what finally pushed will have pushed him there? Two idiotic performances. One, Andretti Green making the kind of boneheaded race strategy calls like the one that sent young Marco into Franchitti’s way, costing the race at Sonoma. Two, Brian Barnhardt, IndyCar president and chief steward, who kept letting Milka Duno take the track, endangering the lives of everyone.

The dreadful North

In the NFC North, the Pack pulled one out, preserving hope in the land of beer, cheese and bratwurst for another mediocre season with an ancient quarterback. Actually, they’re not that rational. I suspect the cheeseheads thinking championship. We didn’t get the Bears; the Raiders are up the road. Culpepper is on the Raider roster now, and has had a fair pre-season, but they went with Josh McCown, who’s made a career of being a stiff. (Four forgettable seasons with the Arizona Cardinals. Then again, aren’t all seasons with the Cardinals that?) It’s been hard times in the Raider Nation for a long time, and it doesn’t look to get better anytime soon. The hapless Motor City Kitties are locked in a titanic struggle with the Bad-Ass Raiders before the Detroiters finally prevail. Chief Kitten Kitna guarantees ten Lion wins. We’ll head right over to Vegas to get our money down. Yeah, right.

Vikings won in spite of Tavares Jackson. Former Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson looks like the real deal, though. Nineteen carries for 102 yards, one reception for sixty yards and a touchdown. Chester Taylor’s career as an NFL starter lasted exactly one season. The Falcons are hapless. Vick’s no loss. His primary skills were running and one-fingered salutes. No one’s ever won squat with a running quarterback in the NFL.

Given the Bears defense it’s no surprise San Diego didn’t score much today. Given the Bears offense, it’s no surprise Chicago didn’t score much today. The defense was good, but the offense was worse. Chargers 14, Bears 3. It buggers the imagination why Chicago has been able to go pretty much a whole century without more than a handful of quarterbacks that have risen above just plain bad. They can get to the Super Bowl in the weak NFC, but they’ll never win it with Rex at the controls.

There’s a lot of football opinion above, isn’t there. And after I wrote yesterday I’m often completely bamboozled by this game. Ah, well. Football season’s back.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Parity or Mediocrity?

Oregon 39 Michigan 7. It wasn’t that close, though. That followed last week’s loss to 1-AA Appalachian State, called by some the greatest upset ever. What’s going on here? Is it the parity promised by the NCAA’s scholarship-limiting rule change a few years ago? Perhaps. A result of early exodus to the NFL? (Michigan’s can’t claim that one, with the voluntary return of a raft of senior skill players.) Global warming? Eighty degrees in September is routine in Michigan. I’d guess it’s Dubya; got to be.

It goes beyond Michigan, of course. Miami beat Marshall last week (whoopee!) and has seen hard times of late, but Oklahoma 51, the Hurricanes 13?

Florida State lost its opener to Clemson. That’s not a huge surprise, but today they trailed the University of Alabama – Birmingham into the third quarter before escaping 34-24. How good is UAB, you ask? The Blazers lost last week to Michigan State (a middling kind of team) 55-18. Once moribund South Carolina, resurgent under coach Steve Spurrier but unranked in 2007, upset No. 11 Georgia. After scoring only 13 at home, those are some very unhappy Dawgs. Adding to the carnage is the late overtime upset of Auburn. Our friend Bobby Star Eyes will be in mourning tonight.

Notre Dame’s dropped its first two, the opener 33-3 to Georgia Tech, a good team, but once quite appropriately called the Rambling Wreck. Today, the Nittany Lions mauled the Irish 31-10. Minnesota tried to imitate its record-setting 31 point Insight Bowl meltdown but slipped by Miami (Ohio) in three overtimes. That’s five extra periods to earn a 1-1 split against the Mid America Conference.

Next week it’s Notre Dame at Michigan. They've combined to give up 137 points while scoring only 51, all but 20 of those against a 1-AA opponent. One of these has-beens is going to be 0-3.

We were in Las Vegas before the bowl season last winter and smugly bet a parley card. Two of those “sure thing” picks were Ohio State, and – you guessed it – Michigan. Couldn’t lose. Right. Got skinned.

Heard on the Michigan-Oregon broadcast, “The Wolverines defense can’t handle the spread offense.” Hmmmm. The Rodents play the spread. Nah. The Maize and Blue won’t slip that far, will they?

Friday, September 7, 2007

Googled

I was conversing with a friend and associate. He suggested I Google myself. No, nothing like that – search with my name, see what comes up. His point? There at the top of the page, right where you want it, The Last Turn Clubhouse, the current web literary (sure, auto racing articles aren’t exactly literature – indulge me) endeavor.

It’s interesting who else turns up. Kjos isn’t the most common of names (except in Norway and North Dakota, of course), but there are a few who are always there – prominent Kjos’s – at least on the web.

Heading the list is Lee Thomas Kjos, a famed puppy photographer. If you could pick a warm and fuzzy career, how about that one? I’ve known about sheet music publisher Neil A. Kjos Music Company since I got my saxophone in the fourth grade.

Then there’s Berit Kjos, who writes books and articles under the rubric Kjos Ministries. She was quick to go after poor Harry Potter for using his witchcraft in a plot to undermine God. “The Harry Potter books and movies are merely the beginning -- the first enticing steps into the world of dark arts and deceptive lures,” she writes in an article about the insidious Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Best I can figure out, she’s running her own religion. What a gig.

The real comeuppance is when I Google my own kids. There’s a professional profile in a networking site for the paralegal (now law student) a Minnesota Public Radio article, and reviews of stage performances in Los Angeles and the Twin Cities. A feature film doesn’t appear. Her younger sister dominates a page with an article for the Columbia University magazine, some related articles, and movie sites listing feature film Rachel River. Even at that there are magazine articles that don’t appear. Google doesn’t bring up the youngest. Thus far, he’s been able to remain incognito.

They overwhelm (or at least out-Google) me, and they’re just kids. Actually, what I’m going to have to learn is they aren’t. Not any longer.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Dereliction of Duty

In the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), dereliction of duty means that one willfully, through negligence or culpable inefficiency, fails to perform one's expected duties. Ineptitude is a defense against the charge. Civilian dereliction is usually classed in common law as criminal or civil negligence, recklessness or malpractice.

Unfortunately for all of us, the Vietnam War created a kind of intellectual exhaustion. Not only were there few real professional (meaning without the prejudice of political interest) contemporary analyses, ambivalence in the years following has meant that truly valuable histories have been overlooked.

In Dereliction of Duty: Lyndon Johnson, Robert McNamara, The Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Lies That Led to Vietnam, (Harper, 1998) Colonel (then Major) H.R. McMaster, Ph.D., unearthed disturbing evidence that America's top leaders – and its senior military officials – in the 1960s and '70s forgot their responsibility to the American public while manipulating the country into a vicious war that it could not win.

McMaster received his B.A. from the United States Military Academy in 1984 and his M.A. and Ph.D. in American history from the University of North Carolina in 1994 and 1996, respectively. Col. McMaster taught American History at West Point from 1994 to 1996. He is currently commanding the Third Armored Cavalry Regiment in Iraq.

For years the popular myth surrounding the Vietnam War was that the Joint Chiefs of Staff knew what it would take to win but were consistently thwarted or ignored by the politicians in power. McMaster shattered this and other misconceptions about the military and Vietnam in Dereliction of Duty. He stresses two elements in discussing America's failure in Vietnam: the hubris of Johnson and his advisors and the weakness of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Dereliction of Duty provides both a thorough exploration of the military's role in determining Vietnam policy and a telling portrait of the men most responsible.

Only the most exceptional military commanders avoid the trap of fighting the last war. Military hierarchies are bureaucracies, and its members bureaucrats, with all that implies. If the Army hierarchy was among the culpable in Vietnam, how should we judge the assessments, justifications, strategies, and tactics of that same bureaucracy today? The mantra of “following the advice of my commanders,” may be a hollow one.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Strategists

More and more I change the channel when confronted with “debates” between Democratic and Republican “strategists.” They’re all over the place, on CNN, on MSNBC, and on Fox News. These shouting matches aren’t debates in any sense of the word, and the protagonists aren’t strategists, either. Let’s lay some foundation here:

Strategy – a carefully devised plan of action to achieve a goal, or the art of developing or carrying out such a plan.

Strategist – somebody who can develop and execute an effective strategy.

Does that describe Democrats Kirsten Powers, and Steve Murphy, or Republicans Don Sipple, and Karen Hanretty, strategists all? Not in a million years.

Logic – sensible, rational thought and argument. Is there anything in those exchanges that remotely brings that definition to mind?

How did we get here? I remember the erudite William F. Buckley. What a long way we have come from that standard of intellect and literacy.

After some research I’ve concluded that we are now three steps removed from rational discourse. Point Counter Point (1928) is where we begin, exploring with author Aldous Huxley the dichotomy between passion and reason. The novel is listed among the best 100 of the 20th century.

Fifty years later, the Point-Counterpoint segment of 60 Minutes, took us another step away from logic and rational thought with the relentlessly politically correct (before the invention of the term) Shana Alexander facing – but not engaging – the stridently right wing James J. Kilpatrick .

I’ll call the Saturday Night Live send up by Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd ("Jane, you ignorant slut!") a second step away from engaging in a substantial exchange of ideas. Admittedly, that’s unfair, since as parody it recognized, not perpetuated, the empty rhetoric. I like the symmetry, though. This is a blog, after all, not a New York Times Op Ed piece.

These debates between faux political strategists are our third step into inanity.

Inanity – meaninglessness or senselessness that suggests a lack of understanding or intelligence, silliness or foolishness, something such as a silly remark that demonstrates or suggests inanity.

Are you worried yet? You should be.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

The Cheesy Cup

Phil isn’t going to play in the BMW Championship, the tournament in Chicago next week that’s the next event of the FedEx Cup - the PGA’s emulation of NASCAR’s Chase for the Nextel Cup, in turn NASCAR’s emulation of ball sport’s playoffs. The NASCAR thing hasn’t been much of a success – TV ratings and attendance continue to drop – but the PGA is about to establish a whole new level for cheesy gimmicks that don’t work. First Tiger bows out on the Barlcays, then K.J. Choi, and now Phi Mickelson. The points system is rigged so that it’s almost impossible to eliminate a “big draw,” so the Tiger was back this week, and still in the top five of seventy who will advance. The same for K.J., he’ll easily advance to Chicago even having missed the Deutsche Bank Championship at TPC Boston. (The BMW, the Deutsche Bank, and I can’t name a single German golfer.)

So Phil, who leads the standings, has only to make the top thirty after the BMW Championship at Cog Hill in Chicago. He will be, of course, even having skipped to help get Sophia off to first grade. The win in Boston will fund back-to-school shopping for Sophia, big sister Amanda, and mom Amy. Evan isn’t quite ready for school, but the little guy’ll be along on that trip to the mall.

The point, of course, is that the top players don’t care a pin for this “playoff.” $10 million? Tiger was No. 2 on Forbes’ “Celebrity 100,” and banked $100 million on the year. Phil was No. 16, forty-two million. So it’s not the money that would attract those two. It has to be something important to them as competitors, like a World Series is, like the Super Bowl is. This is like the Pro Bowl. Meaningless. If it’s meaningless to the competitors, it’s meaningless to the fans. Golf has the Majors, and it has Tiger. The FedEx Cup adds nothing to the PGA Tour, the sport, or our entertainment.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Holidays

"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers. I’ve never been able to really get a grip on why we have this holiday, other than to get a day off and celebrate getting the kids out of the house and back to school. So I went to the web site of the US Department of Labor. Along with the Gompers quote, there’s a list of official holidays. I realized it isn’t just Labor day that I needed to get a grip on. I gave the whole thing a bit of thought and came up with a few observations…and questions.

New Year's Day

Also known as National Recovery Day. Or Football Day.

Martin Luther King’s Birthday

While we’re at it, how about Cochise? Or Gael-Mheiriceánach Fulton Sheen? Or June 5 for Doroteo Arango Arámbula

Washington’s Birthday

Not President’s Day, for federal employees, anyway. (see section 6103(a) of title 5 of the United States Code.)

Memorial Day

My recent thoughts. Did you know there’s also Confederate Memorial Day?

Independence Day

Victory over the evil British Empire.

Labor Day

Celebrating what? Tariffs? Medical benefits?

Columbus Day

Italian working for Spain looks for India and finds Cuba. National Whoops Day. Aborigines not pleased.

Veterans Day

For the live ones.

Thanksgiving Day

The other one the aborigines aren’t real happy about.

Christmas Day

Also חנוכה and Kwanzaa



Sunday, September 2, 2007

The Last Blazing Saddles


Is there anyone else at home this weekend? They tell us all the camping spaces on the west coast (perhaps the country) have been booked for months (maybe years).

It was a quiet day at home. Ok, not so quiet this evening. After this afternoon’s Indy Racing League race from Belle Isle in Detroit, we checked out the television schedule expecting to catch up with Big Brother. That didn’t happen. We’ve learned to see what HDNet Movies has for late afternoon starts (this is the pacific time zone), and what was there today? The Last Detail, followed by Blazing Saddles. It’s been decades, so we settled in for a comedy double feature – one a bit dark, one…well, it’s Mel Brooks, right?

Bittersweet, funny, a period piece for the time it was made, 1973, The Last Detail is a real classic. Jack Nicholson and Randy Quaid turned in performances that rank among their best ever…and that’s saying something, isn’t it? Quaid was nominated for Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as young sailor Larry Meadows, who’s being escorted to an eight year stretch in the Portsmouth Navy Brig by Billy ‘Bad Ass’ Buddusky (Nicholson), and ‘Mule’ Mulhall (Otis Young). My favorite Nicholson line captures the sense of it, “Marines are assholes, ya know? It takes a kind of sadistic temperament to be a marine.”

The Last Detail is well worth a couple of hours. (Look for Gilda Radner in a bit part.) There’s talk of an many-years-later sequel, and Quaid’s said he reprise his role if Nicholson will do the same.

Blazing Saddles is a different proposition of course. If you haven’t seen this one, you’re going to be left out of a lot of knee slapping party conversation, reduced to quizzical looks and weak smiles on the quote of lines like, “What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?”

Alex Karras wasn’t in any danger of an Oscar nomination as the half-witted Mongo. Still, he’s a perfect foil for lines like, “Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo,” and deadpans his own classic, “Mongo only pawn in game of life.” Madeline Khan parodies Marlene Dietrich, as Lily von Schtupp, with a show-stopping saloon song, "I'm Tired" ("I'm not a wabbit! I need some west!").

Cleavon Little, as Sheriff Bart, recounts surprise at his survival, with this “You shifty nigger, they said you was hung!” His retort? “And they was right.”

We did, however, do a quick check of Big Brother, long enough to get this gem from Zach, “Can you really trust a guy named Dick?”

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Wackey’s Ghost

Jim Wacker coached the Minnesota Golden Gophers football team for five seasons. His teams were 2-9, 4-7, 3-8, 3-8, and 4-7. His Rodents ran a pass-happy offense and a defense that rarely stopped anyone. The coach was at his best as the eternally optimistic cheerleader. "Geezo-beezo," he would say. "I tell you what, this is one heck of a team." Jim Wacker, who was a far better man than he was a football coach, died of cancer in 2003.

Against evidence to the contrary (never a head coach, at any level) I hoped that new coach Tim Brewster's cheerleading personality was the only thing he had in common with poor Wackey. It took only two offensive series by Bowling Green University in the Humphrey Dome to disabuse me of that notion. Series one: four plays, four-for-four passes, 81 years, 1 minutes 19 seconds, BGU 7, U of M 0. Series two: 11 yard run, quick slant, face mask penalty, Minnesota, four plays, 87 yards, Falcons 14, Golden Rodents 0. It was a continuation of the ignominious last half of football of the Mason era in Phoenix.

Half time score: Bowling Green 21, Minnesota 0. The Gophers came back to take a lead late, before losing in overtime. Once again, when it counted, the defense couldn’t stop anything. Thefly-around-the-field defense, did just that, but its flying was mostly where the ball carrier wasn’t. The spread offense, didn’t spread anything. In fact, take out the power running of Amir Pinnix – plays that looked direct from the Barber and Maroney book – and the exciting (can we say pass-happy?) offense was anything but.

So far the Brewster era is an 0 and 1 and a lot of hot air.